Well, today's post will be rather tame in that most of my tests results are back and I have gained full copies of all my medical reports. Word to the wise: whenever something happens to you medically, especially if it turns out to be a life changing event, GET YOUR OWN HARD COPIES. I have my own personal originals of my MRI and ultrasound films on disk, that I then copied to my own personal external hard rive that is password protected. I have my own hard copies of all of my reports, which includes the MRI report, ultrasound report, and pathology report that I then scanned into my external hard drive and saved. Now each doctor that needs their own copy can get it straight through me and I can send all items same day in ONE PACKET so nothing gets lost in transit to the actual hospital. I have the ability and control to send everything all together. Right now I am just waiting on my mammography films, which for some strange reason those took the longest - roughly 3 days. Everyone else had the films ready within an hour. So if you are in the Vegas area DO NOT go to West Valley Imaging for anything. They are rude and don't get any of your medical records to you within a timely manner, and then ask a shit load of questions as to WHY you want them. I mean seriously? I want them because legally it's my right to have them. I guess when it comes to much of my records I am the biggest control freak and try to keep things as organized as possible.
So I have had to reconfigure some of my routines a bit. Normally I workout 4-5 days a week straight - sometimes with one rest day in the middle. Since fatigue has been one of my worst enemies (along with extreme insomnia) I have had to change my actual schedule. As of right now I workout 2 days and then rest a day. So basically 2 days on 1 day off. Today is one my rest days - which is fine in that I didn't get much snoozing done last night. Food is STILL a struggle for me. I am able to eat oatmeal, specific soups (chicken noodle and tortilla), bread, and oddly, clementines (or cuties). Everything else causes severe stomach cramps that I can't recover from very well. I'm losing weight pretty rapidly, which is worrisome for me.
I am still waiting on my genetic panel to come back. Again, the waiting game is just awful. At this point, I have no treatment plan - only speculation based off my own knowledge because of my educational background. This is the biggest pain in the ass on earth. Some of the things I thought would happen didn't - namely getting the PET scan to see if the cancer spread to other organs. All I REALLY know is that the cancer more than likely spread to my lymph nodes on the left side. I am not going to lie to you - it really hurts and I have breast pain that is now bilateral - which is scary. So I can honestly say I needed a treatment plan, like, yesterday.
So far I am doing my best trying to stay busy and positive. I love creating, so sewing has been a welcome outlet for me. I love doing it but again fatigue is fairly troublesome. I did have an incident yesterday where I passed out. The EMTs had to be called out and come to find out my blood sugar was low. The EMT was rude and just loud as hell. It was not a pleasant experience and all I wanted was for him to get out. Eventually he did, in that I didn't want to go to the hospital. Sometimes being loud and obnoxious is not the answer when trying to help someone - let me just point that out. When my own husband thinks you're being loud and obnoxious, more than likely you are. This is not the first time I had an EMT that was rude and down right abusive - at one point one EMT all most dislocated my shoulder, and he did tear my subscapularis muscle and created a small tear in the bursa of my shoulder. AND NO I was not acting like a crazy person, trust me (I lost function of my legs). Three guys in an EMT truck that wouldn't allow my husband to sit in the back with me - RED FLAGS everywhere. This was years ago, but it left a deep impression in my mind ever since. Leaving here is imperative for me at this point.
I am so grateful to all of you for reaching out. It means so much to me that many of you are thinking of us. Jim and I hopefully will be hitting to road around June 12-16. The genetic panel for me SHOULD be back June 6th, but Vegas is extremely unpredictable so I am keeping my fingers crossed on that one. Thank you all of you who donated to GoFund me or purchased an item on ETSY to support our cancer fight. I know I am in for a long road ahead, but so many of you have offered your time that it solidified the fact that I won't have to do anything alone. You have no idea how much that means to me.
Still working on a syllabus and some direction for me CEU massage therapy class offering. I also wanted to set something up for teaching kinesiology and anatomy to individuals going through yoga teacher training. I may not be there in person, but I know I can set up a format that yoga instructors can use to teach proper clinical kinesiology within a proper time frame. In my case, goals are important and staying busy keeps my mind off of all the other stressors that I have to deal with (moving, doctor's appointments, packing, and so on).
Anyhow, those of you keeping track of my blog posts I appreciate it so much. It is my own personal journey and I feel like you are walking this journey along side me. Cancer is one of those journeys in life that you do not want to walk alone. All of you make me smile, laugh, love, and most of all, give me hope.
I love you and you are loved.