Well, most of you already know this, but I finally planted back to North Carolina. Luckily, things have gone fairly smooth considering everything we did was long distance from Las Vegas, including the house we decided to rent. I am so fortunate because I actually LOVE our home and our landlord and his girlfriend are super nice. Normally when you deal with a property management company it can be the BIGGEST pain in the ass.
I miss my family. They will be here next week. I finally have internet in the house, even though I have zero furniture besides what my landlord left for me, which was SUPER nice of him. I honestly forgot about how good people can be to you when you are just openly nice to them. In Vegas, I felt like I had to be a gigantic asshole all the damn time because NOTHING would ever get accomplished unless you were. That gets really exhausting, so what can I say, I am already happier just being here because I can just be me. Our home is so quite, it feels a bit strange! I am so used to loud noises ALL THE TIME and now I am kind of in the middle of no where and it is super peaceful. I honestly forgot about all of this, and I am surprised by how much I actually missed it.
As far as my health, well, what can I say? It seems to be failing me. Honestly, my mind is sharp (thank goodness) but my body just doesn't feel like it's mine. My energy levels took a sharp turn a few weeks ago, but it has just gotten a lot worse as time goes by. I work out 4 days a week (not my usual 5-6 days) and let me tell ya, those days are struggles! It takes EVERYTHING I have inside me to make those workouts, well, work. I am so slow, which is weird for my body. I feel like everything is moving in slow motion in regard to my body, and I do get embarrassed because I am used to people asking me how can I do this or that? Or, I want to lift like that! That part is gone with the wind I guess. I took everything I had to power clean and front squat my normal warm up weight (roughly 115#). I am sharing this with all of you, even though it is INCREDIBLY difficult for me to share because, well, I am embarrassed! I am a little bigger now, but I've lost roughly 10# in about 2 weeks time. I am dropping weight a bit faster than what is healthy. Remember, you should only lose roughly 2.2# a week on the HIGH END of things. I can't eat a whole lot anymore. My appetite is about gone, and depending on what I do eat, I end up throwing up a lot of foods that just don't sit right. So - I am sort of subjected to oatmeal and protein shakes. Here is what I can say: I can still do strict pull ups, although not pretty. I can still clean and snatch, although not as heavy. I can still do a handstand (pretty well actually!). I can still run, jump, and swing. I can still do awkward movements like a Turkish Get up, even though I am not at my max weight (I did 55# today, max is roughly 75#). I can tell you this much, I am thankful for the things that I CAN pull off. I know many of you are wondering why I haven't made my way into a CrossFit gym. Honestly, it is because I can't do anything at warping speed anymore, and pushing me to do it can land me in the hospital (seriously). My body is fighting as hard as possible, and I have to move at a pace that I can survive with. So, I essentially program for myself and I go to local gyms around town. I do the very best I can, but it is incredibly hard. I know once I go in for surgery, I will lose just about everything and will be starting from scratch. Right now, my goal is to prepare my body for what it is about to face - invasive surgery and chemotherapy. As a cancer patient, my advice to others with sickness, I can't tell you how important it is to exercise and keep your body healthy. Yeah, things won't always feel right - but all you can do is push yourself until your body says STOP (and trust me you will know when your body says this). During my clean workout, the left portion of my upper body literally began to seize up. I couldn't breathe right and it was really painful - basically that was the signal that my body was finished.
I go in for surgery in two weeks time. Am I scared? Absolutely. If I wasn't I would be kind of concerned for myself lol. I know that what I am doing RIGHT NOW is putting my body in the best position to go undergo surgery. If anyone else is in the same boat with ANY surgery, keep your body health before hand. Your recovery will thank you for it. :o)
Anyhow, my NC friends, I would love to see you before I look like garbage! :o) Some of you have already reached out, and I am really thankful for that. Right now, I am just trying to get some things finished (will, advanced directive, power of attorney) before shit hits the fan, per say.
Much love to you guys, and of course, Happy 4th of July. Celebrate responsibly (or irresponsibly it's up to you. life is too short).